


The Cute One

by Cry3TearsLikeJ3T



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Howard is there to pick him up again, Hurt/Comfort, III Era, M/M, Mark is feeling down, au where they're single, because we don't support cheating of any kind, in this household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-24 07:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20702318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cry3TearsLikeJ3T/pseuds/Cry3TearsLikeJ3T
Summary: Sometimes those doubts and fears from the past come for you when you least expect it. Mark certainly knows that.He's always questioned his position in the band but fortunately somebody is there to pick him up, just like always.Mark is sad and needs a hug basically.





	The Cute One

It was late, probably too late, when Mark found himself standing in front of a mirror in the hotel room he was sharing with Howard. Only one show into the tour and Mark was already having doubts of course.

Now, these doubts were not about the show or how good the album was because he already knew how good it was considering the unexpected, but greatly appreciated, warm reception after a nervous and cautious approach towards their music after losing Jason. No, these doubts were about Mark, but where was the surprise? He’d always had these doubts, it’s just they were hitting harder than they had in a long time. 

He stood there, just staring at himself for a bit. He turned a few times to take a look at himself from a few different angles and to make sure that he really had put on some weight and that it wasn’t just the bad lighting, but no, he definitely had. He hadn’t really thought about his appearance or weight in a while because he’d been happy and feeling a bit confident, so for it to just hit him now of all times, was a bit much to take.

Mark then stood still and looked at his blank face before forcing on a smile, the one he’d gotten so good at doing ever since he’d first looked at a camera all those years ago. That special smile that could hide all the insecurities and the feeling of not belonging. And while the smile had a positive effect on others who saw it, it made Mark a little sick or just throw him into a moment of despair because it took him back to the pain of his youth and how much of a fraud he felt.

“I know you’re quite the sight but I never took you for the kind to just look at yourself in the mirror for hours,” A voice, which Mark instantly recognised as Howard, said, making him jump as Howard approached him from behind, his reflection soon appearing in the mirror once he came close enough.

“I wasn’t-I was just-I-” Mark scrambled to say something intelligent but it wasn’t working and he was cut off by Howard putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, it’s alright, I was just messin’ about,” Howard said, and Mark’s shoulders relaxed upon contact and he sighed, looking at himself and the taller man in the mirror.

“I know, just been thinking is all,” Mark replied, and Howard nodded.

“Anything important?” He asked, and Mark hesitated before shaking his head.

“Just stupid stuff, nothin’ important.”

“So does this mean you doubting yourself and your place in this band is nothing important then?” Howard questioned, and that made Mark tense up before he turned to look up at Howard properly, forcing the taller of the two to drop his hands.

“What are you talking-I never said anything about that,” Mark said, but Howard simply shrugged.

“Mark, just because you said you were fine and that you’d gotten over it doesn’t mean it’ll ever really go away, I know you still don’t think you’re good enough sometimes or that you’re just the cute one with the smile, you can’t hide it.”

“I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it,” Mark murmured as he looked down at the ground.

“Maybe for everyone else but I think I’m pretty observant so I noticed.”

There was then a moment of silence as Mark tried his best to stare a hole into the ground, which would then hopefully swallow him up because this was embarrassing to him. Nobody was supposed to know or carry his problems.

“Do you wanna talk about it or are we just going to continue to ignore the problem?” Howard then asked, and it was times like this that Mark really appreciated how blunt Howard was sometimes.

“Yeah, we can talk.” 

Mark trusted Howard. He knew that the taller man was no stranger to feeling useless or less talented or deserving, he was just far better at hiding it.

The two ended up deciding to take the talk to the bed, which they’d been sharing due to a mix up, but they didn’t mind one bit. They laid side by side on their backs, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments until Mark decided he was ready to talk.

“Y’know I really was feeling better and really thought I was done with this but you’re right, it never really goes away, but I suppose I should’ve expected that,” Mark began, and Howard remained silent.

“But it’s just I still can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve all of this and you, Gaz, Rob and Jay, sometimes I feel like it’s the nineties again and that I’m completely replaceable, even though it’s been proven that I can write, sing and dance and everything, I just look at Gaz and his crazy amount of confidence and yours and Jay’s dancing abilities and just Rob’s success despite his own struggles and I feel like I’m lacking in comparison, even when I’m not,” Mark explained, and he could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

“And then I just-just look at myself and I can’t see past the image that I was painted to be and all I-” He stopped himself as he became choked up by the tears that were beginning to fall, and that’s when Howard turned on his side and pulled the little man to his chest, wrapping him up in his arms, which provided such a comfort.

“It’s alright, take your time,” Howard whispered gently in Mark’s ear as he began to shake in the embrace.

“All I see is somebody who’s only made it so far because he’s the cute one and that all of my successes were purely based on that, I don’t feel special or worthy.” Mark then began to sob.

He cried and cried into Howard’s chest, the taller man rubbing his back gently and stroking his hair. This continued until the sobs slowed and eventually ceased, leaving Mark to just lay in the embrace as he let out shaky breaths.

“Feel any better?” Howard then asked, and Mark nodded.

“Yeah but can I just ask you something?” 

“What’s up?” Howard questioned.

“Do _you_ think I’m a good writer?” Mark questioned, and Howard was silent for a moment before he sighed.

“Not that it really matters but yeah, I think you’re a bloody good writer Mark, that and a brilliant human being just in general,” Howard replied.

“So you don’t just think I’m the cute one? You think I have purpose?” Mark asked, and it was then that Howard pushed Mark away and looked at him.

“You ask the most ridiculous questions Mark, of course I think you have purpose and just because everything, including myself, thinks your cute, doesn’t change that, we wouldn’t be the band we are without you, I mean, we may have found success but it wouldn’t really mean anything without you, it wouldn’t be as real, so no, I don’t just think you’re the cute one,” Howard responded, and Mark was speechless, he knew that he’d always been doubting himself rather harshly but was he really that important to the band? To Howard?

The two then just laid there, staring into each other’s eyes as Mark processed everything. Was this truth or just Howard’s truth? Because it was hard to tell due to the fact that Mark and Howard had grown significantly closer over the past years and even closer when Jason left. In fact, they’d even stolen a few secret midnight kisses and passionate nights together but nobody knew because they liked being in their little bubble. It was safe and familiar so why risk ruining that?

“Thank you…for saying all that, you always know what to say and I’m very grateful,” Mark said before he leant in a bit closer.

“So just how cute do you think I am?” Mark asked, a playful smile on his face.

“That’s difficult to say, I think I need more evidence because the cute face alone isn’t enough I’m afraid,” Howard replied, his own little smile plastered across his face.

“Well I’ll co operate in any way I can, what do you need?” Mark asked, and Howard leant in ever so slightly, which brought their foreheads together.

“Definitely need a kiss.” And then they met each other and shared a sweet and light kiss.

The rest of the night consisted of similar things, just cuddling, holding each other tight and sharing as many kisses as they could manage. They threw compliments and little flirtatious comments at each other, joked about and simply had a good time. They eventually fell asleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms and feeling safe.

It didn’t matter that neither were perfect or that they were plagued with doubts. It didn’t matter because what really mattered was that Mark wasn’t _just_ the cute one and Howard wasn’t _just_ the body, like he’d always and sometimes still believed himself to be, leading himself to keep his shape no matter the cost. No, it didn’t matter in the slightest. They had each other and that was what mattered.


End file.
